A Mother's Day Message
Plus the menu for the week of May 11-15th
My youngest has been on a steady diet of The Simpsons lately, so it’s often playing on the TV in the background while I’m making dinner. Last week, as I found myself half-watching, I asked him to pause it so I could take this picture.
What you see above is sweet Marge trying to impress her new mom/friend group by offering Oreos and milk. And what you also see is the look of shock and shame from the other women, reacting to cow’s milk and so-called chemical-containing cookies, leaving Marge, of course, feeling less than good enough. Poor Marge. Poor moms!!!
This Mother’s Day, I found myself wishing for a pressure-release button—something I could press for each of us to ease the weight of this pressure-cooker world we live in, where it always feels like we have to get it “right.”
To serve the right balance of food.
To choose the right ingredients.
To avoid the ones that suddenly feel questionable.
To bring the right sports drink to the field that doesn’t have the wrong dye in it.
To even model the right behaviors…because, they’re always watching!
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How “Helpful” Messages Turn Into Pressure
Over time, well-meaning, outside messages have a way of settling in. What once felt like information becomes something else… more like background noise we don’t even realize we’re carrying.
It shapes the stories we tell ourselves about what a good parent does, what a meal is supposed to look like, and what might happen if we don’t do it according to the so-called expert.
And over time, it can feel personal.
I’ve been that mother. And I work with many mothers who might come for support in feeding their families. They care deeply. They’re thoughtful. They’re intentional. They’re paying attention. They’re trying to support their family and their health in ways that actually fit their real lives.
Letting Go of Getting It “Right”
What I continue to notice, both in my work and in my own home, is a different energy between two ways of approaching the same moment.
One comes from a place of pressure… a quiet urgency to get it right.
The other feels more relaxed, more neutral, more at ease.
It can look like this:
I make dinner. Maybe I even put some effort into this one.
One kid loves it and goes back for seconds.
One picks around his plate and asks for yogurt.
One barely sits down before asking what’s for dessert.
And then come the thoughts…
How much did he eat?
He never eats vegetables.
He needs to grow.
How many sweets has he already had today?
He’s eating so fast.
He’s eating so slow.
How is that ADHD medication affecting his appetite?
The thoughts could go on.
Now, this doesn’t happen every night…but would you agree? Even in a simple family meal, there’s often a constant stream of thoughts and beliefs running quietly in the background.
And the thing is… they don’t necessarily go away. The conditioning is strong.
But I’ve started to wonder, what if those thoughts are also what pull us away from the moment? What if they quietly steal some of the connection that’s available to us when we’re simply sitting down and sharing a meal with the people we love?
I’ve been drawn to the word intimate lately.
Because when I can come back to what’s actually in front of me: the sounds of their voices, the movement of bodies, the mess, the laughter, even the chaos, and pay a little less attention to the noise in my head, something shifts.
The moment feels more intimate. More connected. More alive.
Even if it’s loud. Even if it’s messy. Even if someone is still asking for dessert after the 30 minutes it took to put this balanced meal together.
P.S. I hope this doesn’t paint the picture that we sit down together like this for every meal. Quite often, I’m feeding one kid early because he’s starving before the others. Another might eat later with his dad when he gets home. And sometimes I eat first, because I know I’m a much better mom when I’m not trying to serve dinner while I’m hangry.
What Actually Shapes Our Kids
This doesn’t mean food and health don’t matter. Of course they do. What we offer and model helps shape the environment our children grow up in—and I’m grateful to have these conversations with my clients.
But we are not the only thing shaping them.
It’s the teammate who brings a certain snack to practice.
The friend at school sharing never tried mango with your daughter.
A commercial that makes them request a certain kind of cereal.
At a restaurant where they try a bite of something off someone else’s plate.
The random moment they realize, “Wait… I actually like this.”
I could keep going…
So the kid who ate five foods for years… and then, out of nowhere, orders sushi at a restaurant.
And maybe the best thing we can do is let those moments be true.
Less interference, and more, huh… okay. Things change.
Because they’re taking in so much more than just what’s on their plate (and from us) including their environment, their peers, their experiences, their own internal cues.
Which means things will unfold in ways we didn’t plan for.
Whew… thank goodness we’re not responsible for all of it.
One Less Thing
So this Mother’s Day, one gift I’m practicing is letting go of what I don’t need to carry, and I offer that to you, too.
Not another balanced meal.
Not another night of cooking instead of ordering takeout.
Not fewer sweets for your sweet-tooth kids.
Not another rule.
Not a better plan.
Not more information.
Because so much of this was never fully ours to manage in the first place.
Kids grow. Tastes change. Things unfold in ways we can’t predict.
And maybe one of the greatest gifts, not just for ourselves, but for our kids, is loosening our grip on getting it “right,” whatever that is.
We see you, Marge. We’d happily sit down with your cookies and milk.
Monday
Crispy Orange Tofu: A plant-powered dinner with crispy tofu and sweet citrus flavor.
Tip: Serve with edamame or brown rice for extra staying power.
Tuesday
One Pan Baked Chicken Thighs with Potatoes: One pan = less clean-up.
Tip: Add a side salad or roasted veggies to round out the meal.
Wednesday
Coconut Curry Shrimp Kebabs: Seafood, the fastest cooking protein!
Tip: Pair with rice or quinoa to soak up the extra sauce.
Thursday
Easy Veggie Enchiladas: I’ll be buying store-bought enchilada sauce…
Tip: Top with avocado or Greek yogurt for added flavor and creaminess.
Friday
Caramelized Banana Oatmeal: I’ve had hot bananas on my list for awhile…
Tip: Add walnuts or chia seeds for filling fats and crunch.
Happy Mother’s Day to all of you who mother in your own way. XO Jen