Not Everything Is an Emergency: Finding Calm in the Chaos of Health Decisions

Plus the menu for the week of May 12-16th

A note on new diagnoses, imaginative spirals, and the power of slowing down.

A few months ago, we had one of our kids evaluated for learning challenges. I had a hunch about ADHD, but the official diagnosis—dyslexia, dysgraphia, and combined ADHD—still caught me off guard.

It’s interesting how we process new information. At first, I froze. I reached out to a few trusted friends, but sort of took it slow. I could feel the need to pause, to absorb and orient myself. Then, gradually, I shifted into action: reading, researching, attending workshops, meeting with teachers. We’ve found some wonderful resources, and I’m settling into a deeper understanding of how to support him right now.

In those early weeks (and still, from time to time), I felt a heavy weight—like it was all on me to figure everything out, and fast. That belief—“this is entirely up to me, and it’s urgent”—looking back, only added pressure to something that already felt overwhelming. The actions I took were helpful. But the urgency I layered on top…not ot so much.

Because the truth is: it wasn’t an emergency. It still isn’t. And it’s not all on me to figure life out.

Feelings of urgency are sneaky. Because I’ve seen them in myself, I can often spot them in my clients too. We’re especially vulnerable after a new diagnosis or an unsettling set of labs. And it doesn’t help when information is delivered without context—or worse, with fear-based warnings like: