Reframing the Gift: From Abundance to Connection
Plus recipes for the week of December 30th-January 3rd
The Gift of Reflection
As the holiday season winds down, many of us find ourselves reflecting on the gifts we’ve given and received. Whether you celebrated Christmas, Hanukkah, or another tradition, this time of year often centers on giving—sometimes to the point of excess.
Every year, I tell myself I’ll focus less on material things and more on intentional, meaningful gifts. But when it comes to gifting my family, I always want to make sure everyone feels equally thought of and appreciated. That good intention often leads me to go overboard, buying “just one more thing” to even out the pile or make sure no one feels left out.
Now, as I survey the holiday aftermath, I’m realizing how easily this approach can tip into excess. While the joy on my kids’ faces was priceless, I can’t help but wonder if my efforts to make everything fair and abundant left us with more than we truly needed—both financially and materially.
This internal tug-of-war has been on my mind lately, and a thoughtful book recommendation from a close friend and running partner offered me a fresh perspective.
The Serviceberry and the Gift Economy
She introduced me to The Serviceberry by Robin Wall Kimmerer, which explores the concept of the “gift economy”—a way of giving and receiving rooted in relationships and gratitude rather than transactions.
I’m only a chapter in, but it’s already reshaping how I view the gifts in my life. For instance, I’ve often felt frustrated when a social media post I poured my heart into receives only a handful of likes. My friend reminded me that even a small number of likes means I reached someone. Whether I’m sharing nutrition advice or a personal reflection, those interactions are gifts.
Reframing my mindset this way has helped me value the small gestures and embrace the joy of giving without always expecting something in return. Inspired by this idea, I’ve decided to extend that philosophy to this newsletter. While it’s typically part of a paid subscription, several times a year, I’ll share full posts as a gift to all subscribers, paid or not.
Today is one of those days. Whether you’re a free or paid subscriber, this entire post is yours—my way of expressing gratitude for being part of this community.
Finding Everyday Gifts
One idea from The Serviceberry that deeply resonated with me is the importance of recognizing the gifts already present in our daily lives. From the ever-present food on our tables to the comfort of warm blankets at night and the ability to run with my running partner, seeing the world through a lens of abundance shifts my mindset toward gratitude. It even reframes the things I often find myself complaining about.
Take my dog, for example. She’s too anxious to walk on a leash, which means I have to take her into the backyard several times a day to play fetch. It’s a routine I’ve often resented, especially when I’m busy. But as I’ve spent more time outside with her, I’ve begun to notice the calming rhythm of being in nature—the rustling leaves, the crisp air, and the simple joy of watching her play. These moments have become a gift—a small but meaningful reminder to pause and recharge.
Parenting and the Gift of Understanding
This perspective has also reshaped how I view one of my children, who often talks a lot about receiving gifts. I’ve often found myself mentally labeling him as “materialistic.” But in The Serviceberry, Kimmerer shares an idea that shifted my thinking: for some people, gifts are a way to feel secure—a way to feel socially accepted or felt loved by the giver.
Recognizing this has helped me approach his gift expectations with more patience and compassion. It’s a powerful reminder that gifts can hold meaning far beyond their material value, offering reassurance and connection in ways I hadn’t fully appreciated before. But, P.S., he’s still getting plenty of off-brand clothes and hand-me-downs…;)
The Power of Building Connection Through Sharing
Another theme in The Serviceberry is the value of sharing what we already have. Kimmerer highlights how communities once thrived by sharing resources—like borrowing yard tools—rather than everyone owning their own. This idea came to mind during a recent cooking demonstration I gave for a corporate wellness event. The recipe called for a food processor, and when I asked, “Who has one?” only a handful of people raised their hands.
This sparked two takeaways: first, not everyone needs to rush out and buy a food processor—maybe the company could invest in one for employees to borrow. Second, it’s a reminder to consider what people already have before sharing a recipe that relies on a specific tool!
On a more personal note, I’m thinking about borrowing a dress from a friend for New Year’s Eve instead of buying one I’ll rarely wear. While it can feel vulnerable to ask for help or borrow something, this simple act can strengthen relationships and reduce waste. Perhaps the more I ask others for what I need, the more they’ll feel comfortable doing the same with me. What a gift it is to save resources while fostering a stronger sense of community.
Closing: Abundance Through Connection
Of course, living with an abundant mindset isn’t always easy—especially when we’re stretched too thin. When we’re drained, it can be hard to feel generous or grateful. During those times, I’ve found it helpful to pause and reflect: Am I overcommitted? Do I need more rest or support? Sometimes, the greatest gift we can give ourselves is space to slow down and reset.
As we head into the new year, I’m embracing the idea that gifts aren’t just about what we buy but how we connect—with nature, our loved ones, and our communities. Here’s to finding abundance in unexpected places and to a season of thoughtful, intentional giving.
May your 2025 be filled with gratitude, connection, and peace!
Menu for the Week of December 30th-January 3rd
Monday
White Bean Soup with Lemon: Get ready for the year of the bean! If the 2025-2030 Dietary Guidelines unfold as expected, beans are set to take center stage as the protein Americans should prioritize more often. Cheers to the humble bean—finally getting the recognition it deserves!
Tuesday
Seared Scallops with Garlic Butter: For special holiday meals, we love doing a surf-and-turf spread, and scallops are always a hit with the boys. They enjoy the rich, buttery texture, and I’m a fan of how quickly they cook! The key? A good sear and making sure not to overcook them.
Wednesday
Black-Eye Pea Soup with Chicken Sausage: It’s the lucky bean! Black-eyed peas are a Southern tradition on New Year’s Day. Just eating them is said to bring you prosperity and luck, and some Southern households take it even further. It’s customary to boil a new coin in your pot of black-eyed peas, with extra luck promised to the person who gets the coin in her bowl. Other families count out exactly 365 peas–one to bring luck for each day of the year. I won’t be doing either other than eating and enjoying them. ;)
Thursday
Roasted Veggie Glow Bowls: Veggies and glow? Yes, please, especially in the winter. One notable study found that individuals who consumed more fruits and vegetables had a healthier skin tone, attributed to carotenoids—pigments found in many fruits and vegetables that contribute to a golden or rosy hue in the skin. This skin tone was rated as more attractive by observers. Much cheaper than any skin cream…
Friday
Blueberry Baked Oatmeal: We’ve been stuck in a bit of a breakfast rut lately, so I decided to mix things up with an oatmeal bake. It’s the perfect solution: a fresh new idea that’s both delicious and make-ahead friendly. Plus, who doesn’t love the burst of blueberries in the morning? Feel free to use frozen and stay “in-season.”
Happy New Year friends, I am incredibly grateful for the gift of you being in this community.
XO - Jen